Thirteen

One of the main problems i saw with teens in the movie Thirteen was the role of the parent. The mother in this case acts like she is more of the Child. She is very crazy acting and likes to party a lot. She needs the attention and FRIENDSHIP of her thirteen year old daughter insted of being her parent and guardian. The mother goes out with her friends a lot and leaves the younger siblings with the thirteen year old who has stress from school with projects that are due as well as a lot of other homework. Even though the teen tells her mother she can not babysit, the mother tries to play a guilt trip on the teen. Also, the mother has no time to sit and listen to the teen when she reads her the deep heart felt poetry she write to express herself.
This scenario is often seen in families in todays culture and world, exspecially in single parent homes. The parent figure feels as if they need to be more of a "cool friend" to their child insted of a parent or guardian. There are many reasons why a parent would do this, our job as youth ministers is to build relationships with the teens and youth and help them through it as they live it each and every day. Another job we might have is to sit down and talk with the parent about how they act and how they are not being a parent but rather a friend to their child.
Before we can make any plans to start meetings with the parents we need to build a relationship with them. Start talking to them when they come and pick their child up from youth group. GO TO THEIR HOUSE AND VISIT THEM! This is one of the most productive ways to make realationships with people and i really beleive we need to do this a lot more often. When you go to someones house you are saying to them that they are good enough, respected enough, for you to come to their house to visit them. It shows love in many ways.
One way we could set up a meeting with the parent is to invite them over for dinner one night. While at dinner you can discuss the things that bother the child the most. The most important thing to remember in these instances is to do it in a calm, caring, loving way. If you come at the parent, telling them in any way they are a bad parent they are most likely going to go off on you and ask you who you are to tell them such things.
The child might need to seen counciling from a professional counseler. We as youth leaders should have contacts and know the local youth councilers in our city or town. We need to remember to keep up our relationships with other associations because we never know when we are going to need their help, or when they are going to need our help.
With these few starters i beleive that we can impact the family life and show them the love and care God has for them and they way he wants them to live.